Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
