jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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