If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
