Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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