I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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