the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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