My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
