I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
