did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
