I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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