I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
