I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
