he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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