You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
