when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
