:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
