No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
