I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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