i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
