i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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