hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
