I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Can you bring me the toilet please
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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