Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
