After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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