I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
