I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
