i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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