I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
