What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
