even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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