Sponge bath it is.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
