I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
bring money and cleavage
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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