the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
