Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
