Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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