I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
