I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
