Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
