"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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