I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
