Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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