there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
