a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize