Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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