i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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