how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Randomize
