If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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