their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
