I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize