i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hippo gnu deer
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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