So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
