You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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