they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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