fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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