we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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