Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
