i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
