So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
