so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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