Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
