i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
