U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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