she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize