ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to make out with him forever
So much Jack, so little girl.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
