i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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